The Fault In Our Stars. A beautiful movie that I shouldn’t have watched while loaded with hormones and various girly emotions. But I did. And though my eyes are red from the tears I shed, I’m glad that I did. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a movie about two young cancer survivors who fall in love as they both live with the conditions cancer has given them. The movie is about life, love, and the beauty and disappointments of living intentionally, every single moment. As I stated, the movie left me in tears . . . a lot of them. And all I could think about was that one day, I may experience the pain of losing someone that I love. The reality that millions of others have experienced this pain deepened my sorrow and added to my puddle of tears. I’ve always been very sensitive about death. Even a moment spent talking or thinking about losing a loved one makes me cry. Just the thought. My husband, the beauty that he is, is more willing and open to talk about things such as eulogies and funeral preferences. I often think he’s crazy when he invites me to conversations about death, but I also realize that he is simply choosing to acknowledge the reality that one day, we will no longer be on earth.
I know, a little morbid and depressing to write about. But I couldn’t help but put my thoughts into visible words. The one very important lesson that I learned from The Fault In Our Stars is that it is and has been a privilege to find love. Which is an obvious statement right? Of Course it’s a privilege to find love. Isn’t that why so many are desperately seeking to find it? Isn’t that why we spend so much energy striving to protect it? Yes. And as obvious as my statement is, it’s a reminder I very much needed. My love for my husband, friends, and family is unquestionable. I am constantly talking myself out of worrying for their well being. However, somehow, I’ve simultaneously wafted into a state of entitlement. Taking for granted that love will always be here. That love is owed to me. Well, It is not. I’m blessed and even lucky (which is a word I hate using yet it seems appropriate in this moment) to have found and experienced such a love as this. Husband and wife love. Parents and daughter love. Sibling love. Friends and family love. Love is so beautiful. While sometimes burdensome, love is a gift.
As I am reminded, I will also remind you, let’s cherish love; for it may not always be with us.