“We don’t want God to take people by death just so that he can sever relationships that need to end. That would be tragic and would make him the bad guy. But we want to be in control so badly that in order for Him to help us let go of unnecessary relationships, things have to happen in a way where we often don’t understand.”
While the premise of this blog is to emphasize the need for ended relationships; I would be remiss if I didn’t also acknowledge that at times we misinterpret the reason behind our relationships with certain people. Specifically in relationships with the opposite gender, we force an intimate relationship when in reality, that person was just supposed to help you mature, develop, or get through a specific time in your life. Several years ago (right before I met my husband), I had a friend that was willing to help me make music. He was a producer and had the means to help me record; something that I was eager to do but didn’t have the resources to make happen. I truly believe that we were strictly supposed to have a friendly producer/artist relationship but because our personalities were compatible, we decided to start dating. Fast forward a few months (and several arguments), we ended our relationship. We just weren’t meant to be romantically involved. Because it’s hard to remain friends once romantic feelings have been involved, our ended relationship left me without a producer and minus a friend.
Again, not every friendship that ends is supposed to end but so many times in our lives, relationships end because that’s just as far as they were supposed to go. I wish I had the formula for how to differentiate between the two, but I don’t. I’ve experienced heartbreak and disappointment due to ended friendships but I’m learning that sometimes, things happen for the betterment of all parties involved; even if none of us understand why. I also realize that we have to take individual responsibility for the way our friendships/relationships end. It’s not always the “other person” that needs to change; sometimes it’s us. We have to be willing to look within and recognize that there may be something about us that is driving our relationships into the ground. It’s a balancing act and it’s not always easy but it’s so necessary for growth.
Treasure your relationships, work hard to make them work. When you’ve done all that you can and nothing seems to be changing, give it some space and time. Although the ending of a relationships is hard, they don’t have to end violently or with hard feelings. We can find ways to move on amicably without speaking ill or wishing harm on ex relationships and ex friends. While it’s often hard to say goodbye to both platonic and romantic relationships alike; sometimes good things must end so that great things can begin.