It’s been almost three weeks since I conquered my fear of singing in front of a crowd and since then I’ve realized that there are so many other things that have been rectified because of my decision to conquer a fear. I find myself going after things that I would have never imagined I was qualified to conquer. I also realize that some of my actions of the past were only manifested because they grew out of the of the deeply rooted insecurity of not being good enough.[exposure alert]
Even as a married woman, I would often think back to my old relationships wondering if any of them were thinking about me. Wondering if I was at all a concern in their lives. I would even go as far as checking their social media networks for some evidence that I was relevant in their lives. Yes, it sounds foolish and it was. And lets just be honest, if we could all just be honest for a moment; we could all reflect on some of the foolish things that we do/we’ve done simply because we are insecure about one thing or another. That fear of not being good enough led me back to my past. I needed some indication that I was special to someone. I know, it would seem as if a man marrying me forever would give great implication that i’m significant but because of the deep inception of my fear, even a lifelong commitment wasn’t enough for me.
Well. After stepping out and conquering that fear, my insecurity has been uprooted. Without knowledge of, I’ve moved myself from a place that I had been standing in for years. A place where I was standing, shivering, afraid to move forward because I was worried that I may fail. Unsure of how to let go of horrible habits such as checking social networks; spying on people that no longer matter. Who knew that all I had to do was step out of my comfort zone and do something that I was afraid of. Who knew that there were so many things attached to that one insecurity? I’ve even stopped comparing myself to others. Realizing that I am the only ME that will ever exist…ever. Comparing yourself to others is like jumping on a stationary bike in efforts to get to a destination miles away. Its the best way to anchor your feet in their current position; never to reach the goals that your spirit desperately seeks to accomplish.
So now, when the enemy decides to slide the idea of checking social networks into my conscious, I smile and continue with my day. I no longer have the time to be foolish nor the desire to fulfill the insecurity that has been confronted, overcome, and
Are your insecurities still rooted deeply within you? Do you feed them? Will you step out and conquer a fear in order to free yourself from a lifetime of stagnation and regression??
Do it. #livewithoutfear (per John Campbell) and see what amazing things happen for you!!