For the past few days, my body and mind have become increasingly weary. I’ve been tired, mentally and physically. I’ve been stressed and fatigued. Life has been busy and non stop. This morning, I feel like I’m floating through the air as opposed to walking upright on my two feet. I feel like God himself is carrying me around to where I need to be and opening my mouth to say the things I need to say. My carnal energy is depleting. I recall a conversation that I had with my mentor last week about how I’ve been feeling. She suggested that these moments are the best time to write; so, i’m writing. I’m afraid that this may not be an extremely uplifting piece, it’s one of those “do yall feel me? Am I all alone?” pieces.
Yesterday, my husband and i had a conversation about the struggle of the young adult. The 21-30 something’s that are just trying to do what they know they must. He wrote about The Struggle on his blog yesterday and today it’s on my mind. No matter what field you’re in, what school you attend, what job you work, what your home situation looks like; i truly believe we all want the same thing. We all want to get to the place we call content, success, happy, ‘well off’, stable, etc. I’m sitting here at this desk, with less than $20 in my account, waiting on a paycheck to pay my bills and put gas in the car. My body is operating at about 65% and my mental capacity is not far ahead of that. I’m tired, but i KNOW that I still have responsibilities in my name. My responsibilities do not care how tired I am or at what percentage i’m operating. I have to push through and past myself and conquer my day. I just HAVE TO. And so do you. Things aren’t always going to look amazing and at the same time, things aren’t always going to look this way.
My dream is to be a world renown and traveling writer and poet. I want to change communities with my words and the power of God within me. The struggle is real when I get home from my 11 hour shift and I have to pick up that computer and write something. Or when I’d rather not go to church so that I can sleep in. When I’m running a fever but I know I have to show up to work because people are relying on me. Choosing whether to rest or run. When the car needs to be fixed and you have to choose between your safety and rent. lol, It’s so real. The funny thing is, this is probably a great time to point out how amazing God is and how He is my provider, my redeemer, my shelter and my everything that I’ll ever need. Because in reality, HE IS. And with ALL THAT HE IS, it does not take away from the fact that the struggle…is real.
So, what do we do? How do we change it? What’s our next steps?
Keep going. lol. What else can we do?? Stop?? Cry? Give up? Well we could, but that wouldn’t make the struggle any less real. I know that in order to get to my goal, my desires, my destinations, I have to keep moving. Duh. Stopping on the side of the street while on your way out of town will NOT get you to your destination. Same in life. We just have to keep doing what we know we have to do.
Start that business. Write that book. Apply for those dream jobs while working that mediocre one. Keep sending resumes. Keep taking those gigs. Keep teaching those children. Keep coaching. Keep smiling. Keep doing those things that make you feel like life is still worth living. The struggle IS real, but so is our ability to conquer it!
as i close this window and turn to the pile of work on my desk….