Do You Love Who You’re Becoming? 
I ask myself. I imagine standing on stage, sharing the newest developments of my life, reflecting on the joys and lows of the past year. I remember myself at the beginning. Lost sight. Down on myself. Not sure who I was or what I wanted. 

I needed some guidance, and I found it in my year. 

This year has been an insightful roller coaster of revelations and emotional breakdowns. I gained some things and lost some things. I remembered pieces of myself I hadn’t remembered before. I gave of myself in ways I didn’t know I could. I said yes to no people and no to yes people. I turned down jobs. I gave away clothes. I left places I no longer loved. I gave up friendships and settled into new ones. I found air in small spaces by listening to myself. 

I gave in to bravery and put a hush on fear. (It still speaks, but I’m not listening as much anymore.) I called friends I hadn’t spoken to in a while and realized why I hadn’t spoken to others. I let go. And realized that not everything and everyone is as they seem — in fact, almost nothing and no one is as they seem. 

I’ve asked myself 100 questions over and over. Sometimes once a day, other times, once a week. Asking myself questions in the midst of crisis and confusion helps me move forward. But I have to quiet myself. My mind has to stop talking and my heart has to stop feeling for just a moment so that my soul can speak. The still small voice that we often ignore is the one with all the answers. 

I know myself better. I know love. I know good people and I recognize unhealthy behavior. I have crossed over a threshold that I’ve never been over before and while it is scary and intimidating, I absolutely love who I’m becoming. 

.        .        .

We’re often afraid to ask ourselves the deep questions. Afraid we’ll stumble upon an answer we’ve been suppressing for years. Afraid we won’t have the answer. Afraid we’ve known the answer all along.

And that’s ok. It’s ok to be afraid. But moving forward is evolution, and evolution is why we exist.

If you take a moment each day, each week, or each month to ask your soul questions like “what does freedom look like?” or “what should I stop doing?” or “what finished works have I abandoned?” you will find the answers that tell you who you are becoming.